Being an actor can be tough. You miss things like birthday parties, visits with friends and family and you even miss nights off.
But the hardest thing about being an actor is knowing you got a part over your friend who didn’t. If you’re an actor, chances are many of your friends and the new acquaintances you’ll meet are actors too. You might all audition for the same shows together. It gets hard when one of you gets the role and the other doesn’t. There are, however, ways you can be supportive of your friend, even if they don’t land it, and ways they can be supportive if the tables are turned.
First, try not to shout from the mountain tops that you’ve gotten the part until you’re allowed. With some auditions and callbacks you’ll be told that if you’re chosen, but you’re not allowed to say anything until a certain time or a certain date. Be mindful of this and don’t say anything before you’re allowed. That only makes people nervous if you’ve heard what part you received and they haven’t yet.
Encourage your friend to go on the very next audition! You can even help them to prepare for it. I auditioned with a friend for the show I’m in currently. I got the part. They didn’t. I immediately began helping them prep for their next audition.
Try your hardest not to talk about your rehearsals with them! You want to gush and be happy you’ve landed this role, and as an actor of course you want to talk about the rehearsal process, but remember they might not want to hear about it if you got the role over them. Talk about the last project you were in together! Or talk about their upcoming audition instead.
Understand if they don’t want to come see the show. Of course you’d love them to! You always want all your friends and family see you do what you love, but for them it might just bring up the ‘what ifs’ of their audition and make it a less than pleasurable experience for them.
Above all, remember that it could have easily been you that didn’t get the role and your friend could be on the other side. If you’re the one who didn’t get the role, keep auditioning, keep trying, and know there’s always another project around the corner — you just need to find it!